Does this apply to me?

I was presented with this question recently and I realized I needed an outlet so here I am.

I was assisting payroll by sending out a notification for commissioned employees. Payroll insisted on sending it to ALL employees to avoid missing anyone. Here was the basic message, "Commissioned employees will receive their August checks on the 14th. Please do not reply to this message. Contact your local HR representatives with any questions." Since they are told not to reply they just can't help themselves and while I used to watch the mailbox for rejected messages, bad routing etc. I now watch the mailbox for entertainment purposes. I don't know why I continue to do this since the replies baffle me and sometimes frighten me. Many times I am left wondering how some of these people are able to hold down a job, then I think about how many of these mouth-breathers drive themselves to work! It's terrifying. Back to the topic at hand...the replies:


The first reply to this message was...

"Does this mean that we will get our commission checks on the 14th and 30th?"

I was stunned and a bit shaken, but I shrugged it off. Then came the next response...

"I am not a commissioned employee, does this apply to me?"


That one floored me. If I was allowed to reply to these people what exactly would I say in response to such a question? I actually began to question myself. Am I being a snob for silently mocking their questions? Perhaps I was missing something here, perhaps I was just not bright enough to understand what was really going on here. As I am rereading the original thread and response to see what it is I missed, another reply comes in to this non-human mailbox that created especially for this mailing...

"What do you want for lunch? I was thinking Mexican food."

With that I decided that I really hadn't missed a thing.