C'mon, are they fucking serious? "Christian Porn" There is a market for everything out there. So I was trying to talk a good friend of mine into going into business with me on this and here's how I envision the site...
- All girls (and guys) on the site MUST be devout (we will guarantee this for our customers)
- To prove this devoutness the chicks will have to wear crosses during all scenes, because if they are wearing crosses while they are having sex with a donkey then all is forgiven right? God knows we all make mistakes.
- To make the sinners feel better a portion of the proceeds will be domainted to help spread the word of God or something
- This is the kicker - After every fuck session they watch or when they exit we will have a priest absolve them
5 comments:
This IS genius ... maybe sell *nice girl panties* on the site??
So, if you're going to produce movies...do it the right way. The setting is back in the day...y'know, Jesus' time.
You could have "Jesus" about to get it on with some sinner girl. As he whips out his dick, the sinner drops to her knees, holds her hands in the prayer way, and Jesus says, "This is my body. Take it, and eat it."
You could also cross this over with menstrual femdom porn, in which the sinner girl can squat over Jesus (who is laying down) and she could say, "This is my blood. Take it, and drink it. Do this in remembrance of me."
Or you could have an animated short titled "God's First Answer." In this short, we see a woman come out of her hovel. Suddenly, there's this bright light and she holds her hand up to shade her eyes. Finally she sees, emerging from the clouds in the sky, a gigantic (and I mean HUGE) erect penis. Then a voice (something commanding like James Earl Jones) says, "I'd like your help." The woman screams, "No way!" as she puts her hands over her privates and then retreats back into her hovel.
The whole concept is filled with possibilities. "Raising Lazarus From The Dead" could be one of those plot driven porn movies about a monk suffering from ED. Kobe Tai could be his therapist.
In another, Jesus could set about healing female lepers (who would be played by amputees). He either screws or fingers these poor girls to orgasm, at which point they scream, "Oh God, oh GOD!" and then (through the magic of video editing and body doubles), they get their limbs back.
For gay porn, "Stabbed By The Speak of Longinus" could be about Jesus being taken off the cross and ass-raped by a roman guard.
Of course, I meant SPEAR of Longinus.
LMAO!!! Kevin is just full of helpful suggestions! I'd hire him as "creative consultant".
This is the kicker - After every fuck session they watch or when they exit we will have a priest absolve them
What about the sex sessions that only feature priests to begin with?
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