Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Anal Sex in Accordance with God's Will

You said you wanted to know how God felt about Anal... TADA! That's right, they covered that... Oh this site is fucking priceless!

Anal Sex in Accordance with God's Will - "Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that’s why he puts stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that’s why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body’s needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.

In fact, many Biblical passages allude to the act of anal sex between men and women. Lamentations 2:10 describes how “The virgins of Jerusalem have bowed their heads to the ground,” indicating how a virginal maidens should position themselves to receive anal sex.

For a young woman who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, having anal sex allows her to preserve her virginity (i.e., maintain an intact hymen) until marriage. There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night. Finally, anal sex allows both partners to save the most intimate and powerful sexual act, that of face-to-face vaginal intercourse, for their mates in marriage. This type of sexual relationship represents the most powerful union between a man and a woman, and so it rightfully should be reserved for one’s life partner. Fortunately, you can engage in anal sex prior to marriage and still be able to share the deeper, more meaningful act of consecrated love through vaginal intercourse with your wedded spouse."

3 comments:

Jansky T said...

Sign me up! I'd like to be an evangelist for these anal sects.

Forrest Proper said...

I started out reading this series on Christian porn thinking "well, I'm glad the fellows at The Onion have got a new hobby", but I'll be damned if I haven't come to think this is for real.

I think that scares me more.

Doesn't said...

It truly is frightening. I suppose I should post a link to the site so people don't think that I'm making this shit up!